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The Office – Kevin Quote #74

Kevin: After Stacy left, things did not go well for a while. And it was hard to see. It’s just nice to win one.

  • Kevin Malone Quotes
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  • ‘Chair Model’

‘Chair Model’ Quotes

Andy: Did I do this for me? No. I did this for the little guy. For Joe six-pack, the guy who wakes up every morning in his $400 a month apartment, wonders how he’s gonna pay his mortgage that month. Wonders how he’s gonna fill his car up with oil. Wonders how am I going to pay my kids’ orphanage bills? That guy shouldn’t have to wonder where he’s gonna park.

Michael Scott: Okay, “Wendy”. Hot and juicy redhead. Let’s give this a try. [dials phone]
Woman: [answering phone] Wendy’s.
Michael Scott: Hello, Wendy. This is Kevin’s friend Michael.
Woman: This isn’t Wendy.
Michael Scott: Oh, I’m sorry. Could you put her on, please?
Woman: Dude, this is a Wendy’s restaurant.
Michael Scott: Damn it, Kevin. Okay. Um. Could I just have a frosty and a baked potato, please?
Woman: You have to come to the restaurant to order food.
Michael Scott: Well, I’ll send somebody to pick it up, just have it ready.
Woman: It’s ready now.
Michael Scott: Well, put it aside.

Michael Scott: [singing to the tune of “American Pie”] Bye, bye, miss chairmodel lady I dreamt that we were married and you treated me nice We had lots of kids Drinking whiskey and rye Why d’you have to go off and die? Why d’you have to go off and die?
Michael & Dwight: [singing] Oh, you believe in rock’n roll? Can music save your mortal soul? And then, can you have to dance real slow? Well, I know that you’re in love with him ‘Cause I saw you dancin’ in the gym – Kicked off both her shoes – Turned off her shoes – No more rhythm and blues! – No verdict was returned! Rhythm and blues. This will be the day that I die.

Kevin Quotes

Jim: Laverne packs up the pie wagon at five so.
Kevin: At five? That’s only twenty minutes from now. The pie shop is thirteen miles away. So at fifty five miles an hour that just gives us five minutes to spare.
Angela: So wait, when pies are involved you can suddenly do math in your head?
Kevin: We.
Oscar: Hold on. Kevin, how much is 19,154 pies divided by 61 pies?
Kevin: 314 pies.
Oscar: What if it were salads?
Kevin: Well, it’s the. Carry the four. And. It doesn’t work.

Andy: Oh, my gosh. You have the Dallas board game?
Kevin: Yeah, when I was a kid I was on Dallas.
Andy: Really?
Kevin: Yeah. We missed our connecting flight and we spent the entire day on Dallas. Then we spent a week on Hawaii. I was on heaven.

Angela: Well, I need to give my cat up for adoption.
Kevin: The one who uses the doorbell, or the one with the Mexican hat, or the one with the rain galoshes, or the one you let go around naked?
[aside to camera:]
Kevin: Angela’s cats are cute. So cute that you just want to eat them. But you can’t eat cats. You can’t eat cats, Kevin.

A funny quote from Kevin in the The Office episode `Chair Model`.